Metamorphosis Materializing

3/16/2008

I was dying on the inside. Six months. Six months since I had done any serious dancing. The prospect and anticipation of tearing it up on the dance floor at All Vol (All Volunteer Conference) was almost more than I could entertain. I needed this; I was counting on it. For the few individuals that are cognitive of my leisurely pursuits, know that I transcend reality when I can thrust my hips this way and that, when I can shimmy and shake my shoulders and when I can kick up my heels to a bumping baseline.

All Vol is a once-a-year conference in which all volunteers in Togo, from all sectors or programs, come together to “discuss” issues related to… well… volunteers. For example, committee members are elected (I am now the Chairperson of GAD or Gender And Development committee), information about camps (UNITE and Espoir) and tournaments (AIDS Ride, Bike Tourney and Soccer Tourney) is distributed, and funds are raised for scholarships (Karen Wade Girl’s Scholarship Program). The real motivation (or deterrent), however, for coming to All Vol is the opportunity to socialize with other volunteers, especially the ones we hardly ever see. Inevitably, there is some debauchery often stimulated by our friend Al Cohol.

I would say the two most anticipated events at All Vol are the GAD Live Auction, when both goods and services are auctioned off for the Karen Wade scholarship and the Talent Show, which just serves as cheap entertainment. This year All Vol was from the 14th to the 16th of March, with the Auction and Talent Show on Saturday night. A couple of events unfolded prior to Saturday night, which resulted in my participation in both. I wanted to sign myself up for the auction but was troubled as to what service would be 1) worthwhile and 2) feasible. I wouldn’t say that I’m particularly adept at any one skill but rather a dabbler and make attempts at a variety of venues. So the resulting internal conflict prevented me from signing up… that was until I was recruited for the Kara Girl’s Dance Troupe for the Talent Show. In case you forgot, I live in the region of Kara and thus a member of all things Kara. After a few rounds of practicing our ass-slaps, I nonchalantly drop-in the idea of auctioning off a lap dance, wondering if they thought it would be a good idea. Heck Yeah! They thought it was a good idea! They pretty much thought I was a genius for coming up with the idea. ;-) My hesitation stemmed from a little bit of stage freight and looking completely inept in front of the entire volunteer community. Because you know… an awkward lap dance by an amateur is just painful to watch. On the other hand, the glory and power I would possess if I could successfully pull it off was too alluring not to say, F*** It! Let’s Do It! …Despite the fact that I have no training in the arts of the lap dance nor ever performed a lap dance, let alone performed one in front of an inebriated crowd of 100, plus or minus. I wasn’t completely unprepared. I had watched Death Proof and received my iPOD, which has the Full Monty Soundtrack. Plus, I am moderately confident in my abilities to improvise dance moves. The key, in my opinion, was to make my corporeal seduction fluid and graceful.

At the last minute, I ran up to the emcee to add my name and service to the auction. Btw, I would like to reiterate that 100% of the money raised went to the Karen Wade Girl’s Scholarship. I was doing it for the girls. Since it was so last minute, when the emcee announced what was being auctioned, it created quite a commotion as people whispered, “Is she serious?” One second. I want to paint a little picture for you. Imagine a room full of intoxicated 20-somethings in the riotous throws of casting away their meager salaries by the handful and loving it. Meanwhile, I’m standing before this mob, in my jeans, off-the-shoulder 80’s top, dangly earrings, black eyeliner and mohawked hair trying to come off as sexy so people will bid higher. Not cute. Babies are cute. Think: “…hot, sticky, sweet…” (You know the rest of the song.) I did my best to throw a couple moves at my blushing male volunteer (gender is important here) without exhausting all my ideas. I was surprised to see that none of the guys were bidding, but the ladies were going crazy. Ladies and gents, I managed to sell myself to the lovely (and hot) lady in the back for 25,000 francs, which is about $50 USD. Not too shabby for volunteers who make only $8 a day.

Moving onto the Talent Show portion of the evening, I had previously decided that the lap dance had to be showcased at All Vol in front of a crowd. There really was no other way to do it. Remember, I was already performing with the Kara Girls in the Talent Show, which was already sexually suggestive with our buckets of water and butts in the air (you’ll have to see the video). My colleagues were about to see a whole new side of me and I was uncertain how my reputation (or lack of one) would be shaped by my exhibitionism. I actually love being on stage (hence the Theatre minor). I find it exhilarating and a bit addicting despite any nervousness I may feel.

The song I chose was called The Stripper and I opened my dance 10 feet away, on the ground, crawling on my hands and knees toward my benefactor. I can’t really give you a play-by-play because to be honest, it was all a big blur, but there was lots of straddling, rubbing and brushing up against the poor girl, lots of hip thrusting and a kiss – nothing big. She deserved it. That was one expensive lap dance. When it was over, I do remember getting a standing ovation and people bowing down to me. I couldn’t stop smiling – the crowd loved it. The general impression I got from people afterwards was that their jaws pretty much dropped. There is nothing like putting on a good show for people. I think there are pictures somewhere…

So my first ever lap dance was a hit, which has only motivated me to do it again next year. But next year, it’s going to the next level. I’m thinking a more risqué outfit and more acrobatics in the show. I’ve got some ideas that involve back bends. Remember, I’m doing for the girls.